Lamorts Rankings: Comic Book Superheros

Ok now for something new. I will be looking at several comic book heros and giving them a grade. Lets get started.

Batman - Hmm, Full grown adult man whole dresses up in a latex bat suit. Are we sure he isnt just a furry with the fur? Kinda just a Ry? He gets awesome points for the batmobile but loses points for the homoerotic love between him and Robin. Who is he? He is the god damn Batman! B+

Captain America - Why isnt there a Captain Australia? I bet he would use a more manly weapon then a shield! Brings new meaning to the best defense is a strong offense... a fricking shield though. "Look out, a man wearing a flag, and he is throwing a frisbee! C-

Wonder Woman - Hmm she is a hottie, nice outfit, nice boots. Lets have a look at her powers... strength (thats standard), speed (the drug?), stamina and durability (think I saw that phrase on the back of a porno once), Enhanced hearing and vision (being observative isnt a power), Animal empathy (LIKE TINGLE MAN!), Regeneration (Really?), Ability to decypher truth (now she is just being greedy). Honestly sounds like most women who have pms or are pregnant... B

The Green Lantern - What a Captain Planet reject (seriously... http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/37/Greenlanternrebirth6.jpg), he has a ring which can make *anything*... thats it. A magic ring. Rings powered by will power. It doesnt help that I am not a big fan of the colour green. C

The Phantom - This may be a little bias, I remember going to the show and buying a show bag, and at the bottom of almost everyone was a Phantom comic. Oh how I loved those comics. Umm... anyway, he wears purple spandex, he would fit in at a villiage people concert. But he is one of the few heros willing to use guns, thats not done often enough. Plus he has no super powers! He is just an awesome person! Yeah so... A-