I am going to get into heaven even if I have to ride there on a river of blood

Gaiden says:
where ARE you going to find a river of blood?
Lamort: I may have to create one
Gaiden says:
it takes 7 or 8 people just to fill a medium sized battub
Gaiden says:
*bathtub
Gaiden says:
oh i know, that, I'm just wondering about the logistics of the operation
Lamort: Well I figure I have a minimum of about 10 years before I cark it so if I start draining people now I should be able to gather quite a lot of blood
Gaiden says:
im currently celebrating my "Twenty years to go" milestone
Lamort: very good
Gaiden says:
back to the blood, ive just worked out that even to have a body of water capable of buoying up a dinghy and covering distance enough to count as getting into heaven on a river of blood would take about 56,000 people
Gaiden says:
i think maybe you are being a little ambitious
Lamort: thats approx 17 people per day
Lamort: it can be done
Gaiden says:
then you run into the next obvious problem
Gaiden says:
storage. blood tends to clot, even outside the body. You will have to keep this volume of blood sealed airtight and refrigerated for 10 years
Lamort: hmm that is a lot of refridgerators
Gaiden says:
yah
Lamort: well I figure I will need to travel to gather as much blood, may need to keep a large freezer in each town
Gaiden says:
this is turning into the sort of thing you need to assess as feasible or not on an individual basis
Gaiden says:
you need a blood network
Lamort: perhaps I can hire assistants, yes that could work
Gaiden says:
i think the easiest way to deal with this issue would be to join the government and get put in charge of the Red Cross
Gaiden says:
the start siphoning
Gaiden says:
if you put it on intensive focus, you could make volume in under 5 years
Lamort: you make a convincing arguement, the question is would I be able to gain such an influencial position and still have time to aquire such a high amount of blood prior to the 10 year deadline
Gaiden says:
hmmm
Gaiden says:
good pont
Gaiden says:
*point
Gaiden says:
ok, I think the only way we're going to pull this off is to start a war
Lamort: possable, the question is where could we start a war that has a high level of easily accessed bloodshed
Gaiden says:
why not work with what the world has supplied
Gaiden says:
the middle east is about to erupt into a massive war of attrition between the currently western occupied states and the Muslim Bloc. During theis period the whole area will be essentially ungovernable, and will fall into a state of Semi to total anarchy. In that case, the dissapearance of large numbers of people will go largely unnaticed
Lamort: but once again we have the storage problem, how many large easily accessed/concealed freezers are there in the middle east
Gaiden says:
concealment is less immediate of a problem, but easy access could be difficult. I would advise the state of Egypt as the most likely, as it has the combined advantages of a westernized science capability, but with a Muslim sympathetic government, combined with the most corrupt police force on earth
Gaiden says:
we set up a ferrying system down the coast of palestine from the front line in Syria, which is probably no more than 2 or three days drive. Using refrigerated trucks we could ship volumes exceeding 1000 Litres to the central storage facility in Egypt
Lamort: I feel we have reached a possability
Gaiden says:
agreed
Gaiden says:
the river of blood could one day be a reality
Gaiden says:
Fuck you, God!
Lamort: and he thought he could stop me with the whole 10 commandments thing
Gaiden says:
Hell, conseide yourself lucky
Gaiden says:
Jews have 613 commandments
Lamort: thats optimistic
Gaiden says:
11th Commandment: Though shalt not exploit global conflict to defy my edict with blood and dinghys
Lamort: ah crud
Gaiden says:
fuck im, lets do it anyway
Gaiden says:
at least we'll make an entrance
Lamort: true, very very true

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I am a bad bad man.