Lamort's version of events

Hear me, hear me, my friends and allies. I request your assistance in a matter most grave. I have seen many in Bundaberg fall to the side of the pathetic Emo race and it must be stopped. Are you with me men?

Many of us have had friends cross to the dark side and don the ritualistic eye liner and tight pants. We shall AVENGE THE FALLEN! With your assistance they shall be redeemed in the afterlife.

First we shall lure them to an open field by playing their insidious music, wear earplugs my friends for the screams of Hawthorn Heights and Deathcab For Cutie can drink men insane. Once lured there we can round them up by threatening to wash their makeup off, because without their facepaint we can see the REAL faces of our enemies. For originally these Emos were not people, but in fact were an alien insect race dedicated to the destruciton of our species.

They arrived here many a year ago and began their plans, first they took human form and created a music hypnotic to the weak, soon the simple minded fell to their charms and an army was created.

After we have managed to gather them together it will be easy to remove the source of their power, EMO HAIR. We must scalp them to save them my brothers!

ONWARD TO HONOUR AND VICTORY!